I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
