I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize