hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
