im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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