DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
