Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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