I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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