Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
