I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
