we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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