CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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