you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
