fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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