Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
