stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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