): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
