Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
