FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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