All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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