I looked at my own cervix.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
