she looked like the bat from fern gully.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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