would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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