apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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