and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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