There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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