I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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