I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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