its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm passing your future prison.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize