How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
