Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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