so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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