Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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