I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
