Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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