you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
