just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
