similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
