she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
