My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
