frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize