if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
