whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
