the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
