I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you had me at cake vodka
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
