don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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