do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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