How'd it feel making her break her religion?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
