i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
