yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
