Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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