he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
