Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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