is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
