just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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