1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
