Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize