where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
