I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
