He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
