i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you had me at cake vodka
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
